i'll find merriment

Princesa. My girl. If we dated I know I would get dumped quick; probably over the phone.Instruments. Some people play them. I've been playing this set since eighth grade. I can say I'm mediocre now.

The "Hawk-Gun." My best tattoo. The longest and most painful. I was listening to the artists friends retell their drug convictions and domestic life. Don't make meth at your home, kids. Rent out a room at the Warren Inn like an adult.

My wall of accomplishment. Or my mom being too generous with her framing.

1993. That one year it snowed in El Paso. Mom decorates plates when it snows.

My journal. I started it in Fall 2005 and Its still alive. I'm on number 24, or 25. Poems, short stories, electric confessions, and colorful caricatures of El Paso life.

A clue to how deep my dementia runs. This is my weapon of choice when the zombie apocalpse arrives.

This contraption was purchased at a Mexican circus. Inside is the negative to a picture of my Mom and I enjoying the circus. The circus was always a fun thing in Juarez when I was little. Funny how life is centered around different arenas.

A poem I wrote last week.

Scattered Thoughts of the Flesh Mosiac*

I'm at a starting line And I should stop while I'm ahead. Mirrors are for beauty not for doing yourself in. If there was a God I would hide inside his cloak. Away from bad jokes And those tired morning chairs. Clocks are for living Not for telling time.

*Don't do drugs!

A Beginning to Summer

I hope this summer is a good one. i want to visit many places. austin and new york for starters. i probably wont make any of them because no one wants to hire me, and plane tickets and gasoline is expensive. i will, probably, join Buckeye and By Tomorrow in August for a long tour that will end in the east coast! i also want to buy a Super Soaker. hopefully that purchase will come to fruition.

Been listening to Bon Iver. first heard the trio at SXSW. just fell for them. DFA1979 has also
been a favorite. this photo beneath is of their performance on Conan*, Max Weinberg does a cameo on drums. *this is the most hidden video on the internet. ive seen it once and have searched for this white whale ever since.

new work from Jonathan Viner, my favorite artist. truly haunting. the kind of sublime you find under a stack of ebony books.
Newcastle and Stella. since i turned 21 ive been drinking from a silver cup, albeit i still have my loyalties to Lonestar and Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Im currently finishing up on Goodbye, Columbus by Philip Roth, my favorite author, and his first novel. he is my inspiration and a demigod.
three poems i wrote early in the morning when no other remedy could suffice:

Some Protest Will Make Me Buoyant.

Give them heavy / Pens and let them / Talks their heads-- / Give them the moon for a /

Canvas / And a sea full of pigment. / Take me aside / And let them put me with / Their tired

and strung / Give them rock, powder, and words. / Let them take their / Faces, much deserved, I'm / Sure.

Untitled

Lost ourselves in black sheets / We need bigger flashlights.

Lost ourselves in a field of tea / We need bigger straws.

Lost ourselves in a wind of malady / We need more doctor visits.

Take a number / God will call you, soon

But its so conventional / These days to walk / without a siren above / your head. God, damn.

God Will Find Me One Day

Im putting all my / thoughts today in / a hand basket. / No, a totebag. / And im walking to /

the nearest bridge. / one last goodbye / and off they / descend to the bottom. / think a message

in a / bottle, but without the plea for help.