Tennessee

One day in Tennessee. Charles and BA told me how awesome a state it is, the best some conclude. But the Lonestar will always be my kingdom. We arrived in Memphis and went to the visitors center where I took a myriad of pictures. Little did I know I had no film in my camera!
I believe the great city of Memphis bought the pyramid from Stargate and brought it down south.
The Mississippi River is quite a view. Reminiscent of the great novels that paved our roads and identities in our country. A fucking dirty river from the Memphis landscape. Syringes, wow!
I found this smelly frame in the water. I carried it around downtown till I realized we would have to endure that smell in the van for another 10ish days. The frame still resides in Memphis.
We found a bodega and a liquor store, bought some PBR and necessities for sandwiches and drove to Nashville. On the drive we got drunk and heard retold sex stories and other embarrassing anecdotes. Nashville arrived and By Tomorrow, Aaron, Pende, and I headed downtown. There's this alley downtown that's practically a red light district. Public drinking among other departures from the law. We then went exploring and went through many Honky Tonk intersections. Not my style but very enticing and a new environment.
We returned to sin alley when downtown didn't suit our thirst for whatever. A sign read, "Nude Karaoke." I immediately thought, naked girls with mics singing Journey; or at least ourselves naked on a stage singing ballads. But it was a goddamn strip club. False advertising, I know!
It was my first American strip club. The times in Juarez, Mexico were awkward and uncomfortable for me and here was no different. The girls had behemoth nipples, like, coaster size, and bad teeth.
I was stuck talking to one girl who was trying to get a rise out of me, and perhaps, purchase a lap dance. I played dumb and broke. That song "I'll be waiting...Time after time," from the 90s came on the PA. She started to converse about the song and how that was the remix. I tried to share her enthusiasm and finally got the idea to go to the bathroom. I walked toward the bathroom to at least wash my hands but wasn't allowed. My prognosis: The big black guy safeguarding the bathroom was negotiating the sale of sexual favors in the bathroom, maybe drugs, maybe baseball cards. Who knows!
I returned to my seat and the nuisance of a stripper left. The next girl came on. She was decent, I guess, but had Green Day playing during her performance. She later asked my friend, Geoff from By Tomorrow, if he and I were Jewish. Yes, the nose is a hint. I also saw my first black vagina. Nothing impressive. It reminded me of a burnt hot dog bun. After finally getting bored, we decided to leave. By the exit was a nice simple buffet of meatballs and chicken nuggets. The only severance from this awkward fest. The meatballs made the ten dollar cover worth it.
I love Tennessee!